Week 6 (Oct 29, 2010)

Black Veil Brides - We Stitch These Wounds (2010) - What we have here is an American band that loves HIM and metal core so much that they decided to mix them together. The end product is nothing special, it’s just a very heavy band which the radio will still play. Make no mistake about it, this is next generations “guitar hero age” metal. School kids will jam to this and think it’s fucking Slayer. It’s basically a bunch of guys in “goth-glam” and I don’t get it anymore.

Is it good though? Only if you can handle the mainstreamy-ness of the whole thing. There’s not enough here for me to care, but I will say that the guitarist has some good licks, too bad I’ve heard them before. At least the clean vocals aren’t emo. Still, very corporate.

OVERALL: UNLESS YOU’RE A HIGH SCHOOL KID, SKIP IT. CERTAINLY NOT MUSIC FOR A 2010 SPACE AGE…(I’M KIDDING.) I’LL GIVE THEM AN “E” FOR EFFORT, AND A “F” FOR ORIGINALITY. (ANYONE COULD’VE DONE THIS.)

SCORE: 2 HIGH SCHOOL HEADBANGERS, OUT OF 5



Blutmond - Thirteen Urban Ways 4 Groovy Bohemian Days (2010) - This black metal band…Yes, I said BLACK METAL, obviously is plum tired of the devil stereotypes and the icy cold Nordic Lands. There have been plenty of bands to do them, and I’m sure Odin himself is proud, but let’s be serious for a minute. Change is good.

I’ll be honest, I think that this is some very solid black metal with good production, and I like that the band isn’t afraid to experiment with other things. The strengths of Blutmond is that they can experiment with things but not get lost in those things, like can happen to other bands. At some points in the album, there is atmosphere, and it sort of seems like filler, unless you’re an atmosphere junkie; although I will say that the sound of the pissing on “The Party’s Over”, was something I’ve never heard on an album. My favorite track would have to be “Suburbs - A Lamentation Or Social Frustration!?” which is a quite flawless track, and a sort of somber look at society. I’d also recommend “You Vs. The Modern Lifestyle Obsession.” as the band is very strong in both of these tracks.

Some of the tracks have a jazzy feel, and other are very dreary. I must admit, it’s an odd fucking mix. Also, the instrumental track “Martini Midnight Madness” was a great sounding track with a good chorus part that makes me contemplate using it for the project.

Regardless, I would say that this is a solid experiment in black metal, being that there is more metal here than anything else, and a lot of ferocity amidst the gloom and jazz. The band has real skill, the guitar riffs are mildly interesting, the vocals are performed well in their respective atmospheres, and the drums are blasting as is normal for black metal - but not all of the time. It’s a well rounded deal.

OVERALL: RECOMMENDED FOR BLACK METAL FANS WHO ARE TIRED OF THE SAME OLD BLACK METAL SOUND. TEN TIMES BETTER THAN THE NEW DIMMU. (OF COURSE, I CAN THINK OF A MILLION OTHER THINGS BETTER THAN THAT TRASH.)

SCORE: 5 PISSED OFF BLACK METAL BAND MEMBERS ON LSD, OUT OF 5



Der Wanderer Uber Dem Nebelmeer (2 Disc Compilation Of Black Metal and Neo-Folk Metal) (2010) - Since this is a two disc compilation, I will be doing it song by song.

DISC 1

October Falls - Usva - This is a relaxing instrumental track. It’s very folky and there’s no metal to it. I could imagine it playing in a Swedish or Norwegian waiting room.

Nechochwen - Winter strife - This song is a nice folky piece with clean vocals that remind me of Michael Akerfeldt. It gets heavier towards the end, but it still remains the mood. This band seems to have a lot of promise. There’s a few harsh vocals in it, but not many.

Musk Ox - The Face Of Patience - This very violin laden piece is quite sorrowful and beautiful, but it’s hardly metal. Soft vocals creep up in, and then a woman duets with the male vocalist, who are mainly singing la la la, da da da. Then it goes back to just the instruments.

Agalloch and Mathias Grassow - Nebelmeer - Agalloch isn’t doing metal here either. It’s just a soothing atmospheric piece. Sounds good, but not metal. It’s about 9 mins long.

Gallowbraid - Earthen Throne - Finally, some metal. This is from Gallowbraid’s earlier work, which reminds me more of current Enslaved. Obviously the quality isn’t so great, but it’s still a good song. It’s also the second longest song on the album (9:20)

Oskoreien - Ode To Arinbjorn - Another soft instrumental. It’s very folky, like everything on here. No metal to be found.

Thayer Cabin - The Painting Moves - Very weird sounding folk instrumental. It’s not like anything I’ve ever heard. There’s a tambourine in there somewhere. Good production, just different. Are they using a taser in this? I heard one go off.

Dammerfarben - Oktoberstrum - Decent sounding atmospheric black metal with a drum machine. I’m sure I’ve heard this song done by some other band a long time ago, and they didn’t have a drum machine. It’s so hard to tell. Atmospheric black metal, huh? Like that’s something new. Well…it does a thrash a bit, and feature some death metal vocals. The riffs are solid also. Just solid though, not great. It’s a good effort.

Kauan - Vmesto Slez - Light song, light vocals - not sure of the language. No metal, but drums start up a little later, and then the violin starts, and then…the song ends.

Wandar - Waldganger - Here we have a long (9:14) piece, which probably didn’t need to be that long. This sounds like pure raw black metal with low production, but they wanted it to sound that way. Ugh…How many times have I heard this before?

Schwarze Heimat - Verlorener Glanz - A very good folk piece, but there’s no metal in it. The piece is quite soothing.

Underjordiska - Ej Hit Kommen - This is a guitar driven atmospheric piece which is only done by guitars. It seems to work well, and it’s worth hearing.

A Death Cinematic - In the Tumbeling Dawn Light, Their Eyes Fall Frozen Through the Mist and Rain - This is one of those weird Ulver style atmospheres. It, like most of the tracks on these two discs - is not metal either, but is still an interesting piece to sit an absorb for a while.

DISC 2

Fen - The Wind Whispers Of Loss - Not metal, but a very beautiful folk piece. The male singer’s vocals are almost ethereal.

Aldresjal - Through Fire the Serpent Uncoils - This interesting black metal band begins with an interesting Arabian instrumental, and then goes into a very solid black metal style, the kind that I really enjoy, actually. The vocals sound utterly demonic, and are more of a cross between black and death metal, and the band itself has some definite promise. I will be looking for their album to review next week. I believe that Melechesh may now have some competition in their Arabian black metal style. This feels like only a sample of a good meal.

Nachtreich - In Gedanken - Did someone die? I hear very sorrowful violins throughout this whole thing, and I feel like I’m at a funeral. This has to be the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and just in case you were wondering…It’s not metal either.

Vindensang - The Reaper and The Seed - This starts out like something I’d expect from Unto Ashes. They’re definitely not a metal band, so you can expect what’s going on here. It’s a good song, and has guitar (which is played well), which Unto Ashes rarely had. The song is quite good actually, and later harsh vocals accentuate the male clean vocals which are heard in the beginning. It’s an impressive piece. Not metal, but still rough. I could play this one about ten more times, I think. This is another band I’d like to track down.

Nebelung - Graue Nacht - A very sorrowful song. The male vocals are in German, and I’ve heard better sorrowful German pieces by Rammstein (“Ohne Dich”), except they were just a bit heavier. Female vocals join in for the da da da. Not impressed.

Enmerkar - Of Mist and Memories - This a cover of the same song by Agalloch. It doesn’t sound as good though. I mean, why do you want a second rate Agalloch with lower production quality?

Stroszek - Land des Schweigens und Dunkelheit - It’s just an alright light musical piece. The vocals are good, but other than that, it’s alright.

Kehra - Valo - What we’ve got here is a black folk metal piece with typical vocals for the genre. But it’s a good piece, and I think that everything was executed correctly. It’s worth hearing, especially for fans of Agalloch. (who seems to be the big basis of this album, even though the song they made isn’t even metal) I’ll actually say that this track is one of the best folk metal songs I’ve heard on this set, as of this typing.

Quellenthal - Winterreise - The second shortest song on this album contains light music and German vocals. It’s devoid of metal, and still…quite fucking sad. Don’t forget that like many other tracks here, a woman joins - but this time to just go “ahhhhh, ahhhhh ahhhh”. (the technical term is “vocalizing”) When she’s done, the song ends with what sounds like a horrible ringing in my ears.

Spectral Lore - Pilgrimage - Ah, Spectral Lore - grabbed a discography of these guys a few years ago. They’re better at their atmospheres than their metal, but this is from an album that I did not have, and the production is MUCH better this time. It starts out devoid of guitar, but then one joins in to add some interesting atmospheres to the already intriguing atmospheres presented. I will tell you this - if you enjoy atmospheres and a little metal guitar, Spectral Lore is a great band to check out. Highly Recommended.

Carved in Stone - Night - The shortest song on the album (2:33) sounds like a ballad by Blackmore’s Night, but with two female vocalists that duet perfectly. This is the kind of music that used to soothe me to sleep.

Velnias - Sovereign Nocturnal - This song is meant to end the set, and it is a whopping (13:01) track. Thankfully, it’s metal - and it’s quite fucking heavy. Probably the heaviest song on the album, it recalls Opeth’s glory days. Yeah, hearing a lot of Opeth here on the guitars, but the vocals sound a little more demonic than Opeth. I think these guys are also worth hunting down. I hear definite promise here, and I cannot fully describe the greatness of this one. This band and Aldresjal are definite musts for any metal fan looking for something good for their ears. Plenty of bad shit out there, so it’s good to know that there are bands out there - maybe not with great production, who are kicking ass.

OVERALL: Not really for metal fans actually, so I’d have to pass it - however, the bands who are metal and are presented here for the most part - are worth listening, possibly buying, and I’d go see their shows too. These “NEED TO KNOW BANDS” are:

Velnias (Best Thing I’ve heard Since Opeth, except a little slower)
Aldresjal (Best Thing I’ve heard Since Melechesh)
Gallowbraid and Kehra (Best Thing I’ve Heard Since Agalloch)
Vindensang (A Little Bit Metal) and Spectral Lore (These Guys Are Just Good)

I have to second Velnias, and I’ll post the myspace pages for these bands in another topic. New metal is always a good thing, and these guys need the support, hence why they’re on this 2 disc set.

SCORE: NOT APPLICABLE AS A FULL METAL ALBUM



Headkase -The Worm County Circus (2008) - Here we have an interesting act, who mixes hardcore with avant-garde music. Normally I would hate this sort of thing, but it’s not bad actually. I used to listen to a lot of hardcore bands back in the day, like Pissing Razors and Vision Of Disorder, and I still like a little Hatebreed every now and then.

You wouldn’t think it works, but it does. Well…sort of. It still has the “in your face” feel of hardcore, like my old guitarist used to say: “I want music so heavy that it’s like a fist came out of the speakers and punched me in the face.” But let’s not forget about the oddities that are thrown into the mix, which make what would be a boring hardcore album, just a little more interesting. Is it amazing? Not really. There’s not much originality in the general hardcore sound of the album, and the avant-garde touches don’t really spell out “game changer” in any sense of the word. It’s still too bland for my taste.

OVERALL: IF YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME SLIGHTLY “DIFFERENT” HARDCORE, THEN GIVE A SHOT. IT’S NOT REALLY AS AMAZING AS IT TRIES TO APPEAR AT FIRST. THERE’S JUST NOT ENOUGH EXPERIMENTATION.

SCORE: 2 SWEATY SHIRTLESS GUYS PUNCHING AND KICKING, OUT OF 5



Sacred Oath - Sacred Oath (2009) - I’m going to start this review off by saying, I haven’t gotten the 2010 album yet, but will review it next week. As for this one, it is my first incursion into the band, and I am quite impressed. Though not very original, their take on classic power and thrash metal (though not as thrashy as Iced Earth’s old material) is a very good thing in my book. It may sound dated, but it’s got some good melodies, some great solos, and all around nostalgia factor. There’s quite a few standout tracks here, and “Voodoo Dolls” was the only track which I found a bit lacking. As far as personal favorites, the album closer “Hunt For The Fallen Angel” features some great riffs and a nice solo. It also sort of ended the album on a cliffhanger, and I can’t wait to see what’s next. Don’t judge these guys on that video they made for “Counting Zeroes” , there’s far better tracks on here than that.

I will offer one warning though, and that is the vocalist’s use of a classic power metal wail. Some people do not like this, so I will let you know that it is very present here.

OVERALL: CLASSIC POWER / THRASH METAL. LOTS OF PROMISE HERE, SO CHECK IT OUT.

SCORE: 5 CLASSIC RIFFS AND WAILS, OUT OF 5



Sebkha Chott - Nigla(h) - Tapisseries Fines En XXX Strips Et LXXX Trompettes (2008)

So they had another one. I’m guessing it’s their newest. Look at that name…My God. Ever wanted to know how far you could stretch an album? There’s 72 fucking tracks on this disc, and it’s not grind. There might be one song of grind here, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they even had a country moment. These Frenchies went insane this time around. I’m waiting to hear hip hop/r&b on this one, I truly am. What else have they not already done? Polka? Chip Music? I have not listened to it just yet, but I am posting my hypothesis, and I will post my conclusion, once I’ve heard the whole thing. (If I survive the task.)

To review this album properly, I would have to ask you the question:

Do you want to take a 73 minute trip?

Think about that for a minute before you decide to hear this one. There is so much going on here, it’s like going around the world in 80 days. This is not recommended to people who cannot keep up, because I myself am having problems trying to figure out what is going on in each of these 72 tracks. I will say that it’s very original and very creative, and the tracks work together in each section, so each section flows as a whole. I wish they could’ve just made it 7 tracks encompassing each part rather than 72. That’s a bit foolish.

Here’s how everything is split up:

Tapisseries I~XI: Your Soul

1 Didier Mozart's Latest Score 0:06
2 The Crou Is Back 1:52
3 What Will They Give To Me... 2:17
4 Screw You Back 0:27
5 ... Your Soul? 2:20
6 Little Boy Round the Corner 0:31
7 Enteracte [Quete] 0:57
8 Dead Boy Round the Corner 1:37
9 Gone Save the Quid 0:20
10 Solo in Fol Flart Harmolic Mijor 0:45
11 Nevermind the Macedoine [Greek Sandwich with Oignons Proverb] 1:16

Tapisseries XII~XXI: Sabra y Shatila

12 La Grande Braderie des Manhirs Kusturica 4:36
13 Sabra y Shatila 0:39
14 Territorial Talion Pissings 0:43
15 Wooden Legs Race 0:13
16 Chittor 0:38
17 Forgotten Graves 1:12
18 St Barthelemy 0:39
19 Voix sans Issue 1:11
20 Blessed Are the Deafs 0:41
21 Hama 0:39

Tapisseries XXII~XXXII: Factory [of Dreams]

22 Darius & Danette [Feat. M-P Jarroussin & A. Mupontel] 2:52
23 Factory [of Dreams] 0:43
24 Free Gibbet 0:48
25 Reves Partis 0:37
26 Last Fantasy 0:24
27 Free Gidaire 0:24
28 Marcel & Bretzel Sont dans un Four a Pain 1:36
29 Ice Dreams 0:29
30 Cirque Kinder 1:12
31 Wake Up, Make Up, Before Your Dildo 0:48
32 Free China 0:28

Tapisseries XXXIII~XLIII: Phial Shapes

33 La Grande Epoque 1:22
34 Ethanol Motorcycle Hearse 0:47
35 Phial Shapes 0:33
36 Ulysse aux Pays des Merdouilles 0:16
37 Marylou Grand Death [W/O Marylou] 0:11
38 ''Pas Plus de 6°?!?'' 0:40
39 Ulysse in Chains 0:20
40 Lewis Caroll Meets Roy Lewis 0:20
41 1000 xp 0:14
42 Papillon de Lumiere 1:10
43 Pompes a Bascule 3:33

Tapisseries XLIV~LII: History [Alea Diktat Was]

44 Alea Diktat Was 1:06
45 Empire of Fools 0:51
46 History 0:40
47 Centuries Contemplation 0:51
48 Like a Broken Record 0:29
49 You See! 0:14
50 Destruktiv Skouad 1:51
51 Me and You, Your Anthem 0:29
52 This Story Never Ends, As It Begins Right Now and Will Not End Til It Begins Once More and Then It's Gonna Be All The Same.. 0:22

Tapisseries LIII~LXII: Nigla[H] / Part 1

53 Nigla[H] Part I 0:51
54 Her Majesty Glory Hole [Explicit Content with Talc] 0:35
55 Malicouille 0:34
56 Great Master 2:07
57 Mdo Part I: Le Silence 0:54
58 Mdo Part II: Le Vent 1:07
59 Strangle in the Night 1:03
60 Moteur Jivaro 0:29
61 Tonnerre de Merde 1:22
62 Kakaram 0:36

Tapisseries LXIII~LXXII: Nigla[H] / Part 2

63 Nigla[H] Part II 0:18
64 Enlarge Your Little Big Horn 0:25
65 Wonder an Escape Plan? 0:36
66 Spank Doggy God [Style] 1:16
67 Get the Muzzle! 1:06
68 No Exit, Sorry... 0:14
69 Take This Cold Train 0:21
70 Railway to Hell 0:34
71 Lawrence D' Arabishnu Orchestra 0:33
72 Truel a la Lucier 8:33

Either way, it’s a good album, just like the last one, and there’s definitely metal on here as well. I just hope you can keep up.

OVERALL: AN INTERESTING 72 MINUTE TRIP THROUGH MANY GENRES IN ADDITION TO METAL. NOT FOR EVERYONE, BUT NEITHER IS LSD.

SCORE: 5 PEOPLE THAT HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS, OUT OF 5



Slough Feg - The Animal Spirits (2010) - First off, if you do not know who Slough Feg is, they are a progressive thrash band from California. They are not new to the scene, and have put out several albums since the early nineties. In those days though, they were known as “The Lord Weird Slough Feg”, which was shortened upon their 2005 “Atavism”.

Slough Feg have been known to use folk in their music, as well as many rock styled solos, riffs and other things. In the early days the band’s lyrics took a more Celtic/Pagan tone, but they have branched off into space epics. As for their singer, you might know his vocals from another progressive group, Hammers Of Misfortune. They have gotten slightly more popular in past years, most notably for releasing their double EP which recalled a lot of Floyd-ish feelings. As for his vocals in either band, you’ll either love em or hate em, but they’re definitely a standout from others. The man has a deep Irish background and you can tell it from every line that he sings.

As for this album, it’s a return to form for the band - The last album was more rock than it was metal. The solos were great, and the album was really jazzy in parts, but it didn’t feel like Slough Feg. This one however, does.

I would recommend all newcomers to the band to check this one out. It’s got another vocalist singing on the final track “Tactical Air War”, which is a first for the band, but other than that, this is the band at what they do best. The recording is all raw, it’s going to sound like it was done in the early 90’s or 80’s but that’s how they all sound. It’s the music that truly counts, and as a big fan of this band, and Hammers, I would highly recommend you to get all of their albums, even down to the debut “Down With The Deadmen”. This band is so wrongly underrated, and I can’t figure out for the life of me why.

OVERALL: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR ALL METAL FANS. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS ONE, TRY SOME OF THE OLDER ONES.

ALSO TRY: SLOUGH FEG - ATAVISM (2005), HARDWORLDER (2007), APE UPRISING (2009) (AND OLDER ALBUMS)

HAMMERS OF MISFORTUNE - THE AUGUST ENGINE (2003), DOUBLE EP (2008)

SCORE: 5 UNDERRATED BAND MEMBERS, OUT OF 5



Dagoba - Face The Colossus (2008) - There’s not much here that you’ll find very interesting. Not for long, anyway. It’s just the same tired roads which have already been paved upon by bands like Evergrey, Soilwork, and Mercenary. There are very few guitar theatrics on this album, and there are very few signs of originality. Mostly the music takes a very Evergrey-ish approach of heavy music with light vocals, except on the opener and near the end of the album where deathcore vocals come into the mix, and in one song “The Night and It’s Mist”, we get the privilege of hearing actual death metal vocals, due to a guest vocalist who just says a line or two during the chorus of the song.

Big deal.

Most of the time, the clean vocals sound like the lead singer of Evergrey if he couldn’t sing, or had fucking rocks in his mouth. Also, there’s one instrumental called “Transylvania” that sounds like Egyptian music. Does someone not know their geography? Clearly, Transylvania is more the home to goth and pipe organs, then it would be to music that suitably fits the desert. Could this be a play on words? Is it supposed to be that the government here is a bunch of vampires, and that the real terror is their conquest of the middle east?

Probably not. I’m over thinking things, once again.

The bottom line is, it’s a big fat pass. I’ve heard so much better, and even thought they have a 2010 album now, I don’t even know if I should hear it, since the fans (there are some?) say it’s not as strong as this one. In my book, that must mean that there isn’t even one song on the new album that would be listenable. I only liked 5 of 11 songs here, and even though that’s almost half - I’ve heard albums that I’ve liked far more, and there are many things that I rather even listen to, than this. Surely, the next band can’t be worse.

OVERALL: PASS ON IT. JUST NOT ENOUGH HERE TO LIKE.

ALSO TRY: MERCENARY, IN FLAMES, SOILWORK, SCAR SYMMETRY, EVERGREY…AND HUNDREDS MORE.

SCORE: 1 BUNCH OF SHITTY WANNABES, OUT OF 5



Black Country Communion - Black Country (2010) - Not metal at all, but interesting if not rather mainstream prog rockers “Black Country Communion”, remind me a hell of a lot of Soundgarden and Audioslave. Oddly enough, Derek Sherenian of Dream theater fame gives this band the proggy push that sets them apart in a world of bands of this nature. It’s very catchy, but sometimes very corporate. They will play it on the radio, your co workers will be talking about it, and it’s really not that bad.

Good solos abound the album, and Derek Serenian does not disappoint with his progressive tones. The guitar work is amazing in some areas, and it sometimes makes me think of the older Dio albums. There is one “problem” track in the album, and that would be on “Sweet Sista Jane”. ACDC rip-off much? Yeah. Big ACDC riff rip-off. Another big problem I have with this is that the lead vocalist could easily be mistaken for the front man on Soundgarden and Audioslave, Chris Cornell. Do not let him fool you, because he is not Chris Cornell, but obviously worships the man’s vocal styles to the point where it must’ve felt “okay to rip him off”. All in all, while this is a solid release, it seems like an attempt to “bring back the old Soundgarden style”. I suppose it’s not enough that the band has since reunited in the hopes to release another album.

Some folks just can’t wait, and take it upon themselves to do it.

The album ends with an exciting progressive “jam-out”, and it’s one of the many high points here. Metal fans, look elsewhere. This is a pure rock and roll/blues and prog album, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. I’ve just heard it before.

OVERALL: RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WHO JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF ROCK/BLUES AND PROG MIXES, AND FOR THOSE THAT LIKE CHRIS CORNELL WANNABES. EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD JUST DRIVE RIGHT PAST THIS BLACK COUNTRY.

SCORE: 3 AND A HALF WANNABE CHRIS CORNELL’S, OUT OF 5



Dirty Granny Tales - Didi’s Son (2009) - I’m not sure if this is a joke or what, but the vocals are horrendous. I mean, they’re so fucking horrendous that it’s ridiculous. This has got to be a joke. This isn’t metal, even though it claims to be “acoustic black metal”. It’s the worst operatic music I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s un-listenable. I dare you to make through the whole album. I don’t think that anyone can.

OVERALL: NEVER LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM IN YOUR LIFETIME…EVEN AFTER REINCARNATION, IT IS NOT SUGGESTED. IT MAY CAUSE MADNESS, INSANITY, OR THE URGE TO STAB OUT YOUR FUCKING EARS WITH ICEPICKS.

SCORE: 0 PEOPLE THAT CAN TOLERATE THIS ALBUM, OUT OF 5



Serj Tankian - Imperfect Harmonies (2010) - Alright, so not really metal - and not really a full metal release, there’s some interesting avant-garde and metal here. Sis you know that Serj Tankian actually listens to black metal? Blew my mind too. Course I don’t know what he considers black metal. Apparently the man listens to one and only one genre of music a month for very long periods of time. One month it’s hip hop, and then thrash, and then black metal, then power metal, then country, then rock, then…well, you get the idea.

Listening to all of that music gave us this - an album which was created using all disposable earth friendly materials. Does that mean that it’s a disposable album?

Well…To tell you the honest truth, it’s not even close to metal, or even hard rock this time, and is more of an electronic sort of deal than anything else, so I’m going to pull out the NULL CARD on this one, and call it not applicable. Plus, it’s not exactly my kind of thing, all the romance and such.

OVERALL: NULL

SCORE: NOT APPLICABLE



Sturmgeist - Mister Mephisto (2005) - What do you get when you combine Solefald, and Rammstein, and then throw a scowling black metal vocalist into the mix?

Answer: Sturmgeist

For those of you who don’t know who Solefald is, go grab “In Harmonia Universali” right now. It’s possibly one of the greatest avant-garde metal albums in history. (I’m sure we all know who Rammstein is, and what they are famous for, German Industrial Metal.)

This sounds like an odd mix from the beginning, and while it is not the two Solefald brothers, it sounds an awful lot like them, except that it is much heavier than their recent releases, and Rammstein’s to boot. You have your electronics, your industrial drum hits and guitar grooves, along with vocals that scowl, sing, and chant through the album. I have some complaints here, and I felt that the album was a little “bland” in some instances, as they weren’t doing much else other than this formula - but then again, that’s probably what they set out to do from the beginning.

It’s very hard to recommend this to people, other than the fans of Solefald, Rammstein, and other industrial bands. This is not by any means fast industrial black metal, and has more of a “beat” than you would expect. I personally enjoyed it, but couldn’t see myself playing it everyday. It seemed to drone on after a good while into it, making an hour long album seem much longer.

OVERALL: FOR FANS OF RAMMSTEIN, SOLEFALD, AND INDUSTRIAL METAL. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PEOPLE UNFAMILIAR WITH THESE GROUPS.

SCORE: 3 DRUNKEN ELECTRONIC VIKINGS, OUT OF 5



The Eternal Suffering - Miasma (2010 - This is the Dimmu Borgir album that wasn’t, but should’ve been. It’s that simple. Before the actual leak of “Abrahadabra”, this was the album that was considered to be the “fake Dimmu leak”. Upon hearing the album, people really couldn’t tell the difference. Later, when “Abrahadabra” finally leaked, many people were extremely angry that it wasn’t better than the fake.

The fake; which released around the same time, was from a practically unknown band who has followed in the footsteps of Dimmu Borgir, and has the strengths to become the next Dimmu Borgir, when Shagrath, Silenoz, and Galder finally decide that they’ve hade enough. The Eternal Suffering capture everything that I’ve liked about Dimmu, and don’t need to use clean vocals nor keyboard or extensive choirs to make these points known. This is well produced, extremely solid and highly recommended black metal that will probably not get the respect that it deserves this year. The band is still a bit green in some areas, which the solos being “not amazing”, but the overall effort of this release is staggering. For those of you who liked the “thrashy 2007” side of Dimmu Borgir, and are extremely irritated toward the 360 degree turn they went with “Abrahadabra” - PICK THIS ALBUM UP.

OVERALL: RECOMMENDED BLACK METAL FOR FANS OF DIMMU BORGIR AND OTHER WELL PRODUCED BLACK METAL BANDS.

SCORE: 5 INVERTED CROSSES, OUT OF 5



These Are They - Who Linger (2008) - Since I erroneously referred to These Are They’s sophomore album as their debut, I have decided to review their debut album in order to correct my mistake.

To tell you the truth, I found this debut to be much stronger than the sophomore in many ways. The band seemed to incorporate more melody in this release, there was a little bit of progressive touches in place, and the whole thing just seemed to be a tad more stout. I know this isn’t really a musical factor, but I also found the album art just a little more creative, and fitting of the band’s dark tones, than on the new album. I know you’re not supposed to judge an album by it’s cover, but I know people who do - and even on electronic releases. They say the same thing about books (that’s why I’m having a little bit of trouble with my publisher’s design department regarding my forthcoming novel’s cover, but…)

Getting back to the music, while I noticed that the sophomore album was merely death metal, this album seemed to incorporate elements of doom which Kuhr is known for. All around, it’s just a better album. Every track is listenable, and I have no qualms with it. If you haven’t gotten a chance to hear this one - check it out, because it’s worth it for fans of Paul Kuhr and November’s Doom as a whole.

Oh…I have just one gripe. The album closer “4th Of July” was not interesting to me at all. I thought it was a very weak track, even though Kuhr sang through the entire song without even a hint of death metal vocals. He’s sung before in November’s Doom and in Subterranean Masquerade (which I‘m eagerly waiting on), and this one just didn’t cut it in comparison. So, there’s that.

OVERALL: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED OVER THE SOPHOMORE ALBUM, FOR MANY REASONS. IF I COULD GO BACK AND REVIEW THE SOPHOMORE, I WOULD SAY THAT IT LACKS THE MELODY, THE DOOM, AND THE EFFORT OF THIS RELEASE. A BRILLIANT DEBUT, IF YOU COULD OVERLOOK THE CLOSER.

SCORE: 5/5 (COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS ONE.)



Time’s Forgotten - Dandelion (2009) - This Latin progressive metal/rock band is supposed to be for fans of Steve Wilson’s masterwork, Porcupine Tree - and various other prog metal bands. (Dream Theater and such)

The band has a good sound, but the vocals tend to take a classic wail, which isn’t my thing for this kind of metal - but for others, (Fate’s Warning fans) you may really find a gem here. Don’t get me wrong, Queensryche and Fate’s Warning have great songs, I’m just not crazy about the vocal approach. The band plays each and every track with a finesse that matches only the greats of this genre, and if this is their debut, then it is a great effort. You should already know what to expect here, so there’s really no use in telling you what to expect. (which is prog metal and rock with Fate’s Warning style high vocal changes more than anything else)

There are nine tracks here, and all of them but one, “Silent Waters” is over the 6:00 mark. The longest track is “The Tale Of The Sun and The Moon (Dandelion)” which clocks in at 11:51. It takes full advantage of that time, and of experimentation, and is worth listening to as a standalone track. As for the album as a whole, you’ll find electronics, flutes, and other things strewn about, and it’s a great recording, musically.

This isn’t going to suit everyone’s palette. I know that. It’s a good prog record, but I’ve heard some that I’ve personally liked a bit better. Furthermore, please be aware that I am not saying that this is a bad album. IT IS NOT, BY ANY MEANS.

OVERALL: GOOD PROGRESSIVE METAL, EXPERIMENTS SOMETIMES, AND VOCALS ARE VERY (EARLY FATE’S WARNING) LEVEL HIGH. SOME OF YOU WILL DIG THIS, AND THAT’S GREAT. I JUST COULDN’T GET INTO THE VOCALS PERSONALLY.

SCORE: 3.5 / 5

ALSO TRY: Devin Townsend’s Accelerated Evolution, Synchestra, Terria,
Pagan’s Mind - God’s Equation,
Guilt Machine - On This Perfect Day,
Ayreon - 0101001, Into The Electric Castle, The Human Equation
Porcupine Tree (Later Albums)



Unearthed - Imposition Of Faith (2007) - Well, it turns out that some members of Iced Earth left to form…Iced Earth. Yeah, pretty much. It’s a proggier version, but the vocalist is clearly going for the same vocal tones and effects that Matthew Barlow uses. I’m not sure if this is a demo or not, because it’s short (29:00) and it’s quite depressing actually. Especially, if you’re a big Iced Earth fan. This is like the poor man’s Iced Earth, with a little more prog. This came out in 07, so who knows if they actually made another release that can stand the test of time or not. I’ll get back to you on that next week. For now, there’s not much here to talk about. You might like it, but I heard it all from Iced Earth - not too long ago.

I will admit, that later on in the album, the band goes into a heavier sound more akin to death metal, and incorporates some blasts in interesting stuff, but you have to kick through the knockoff songs first. Is the album had more tracks like the later tracks, it would have a higher score.

OVERALL: REGURGITATED ICED EARTH WITH MORE PROG AND BAD PRODUCTION. IT’S ALSO VERY SHORT. LATER, THE SOUND CHANGES INTO SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING, BUT ONLY FOR 15 MORE MINS.

SCORE: 2.5 BARLOW WANNABE’S, OUT OF 5



Warbeast - Krush The Enemy (2010) - Thrash metal from Texas, is what we’ve got here. It’s very brutal stuff, with the balls of Pantera, and the thrash of Exodus. The solos are wild, and the vocals are in your face. As for originality…heh. There’s none, but who fucking cares? It’s just balls out thrash metal, and I think it’s pretty fucking good. So sit down, pour yourself a tall glass of Jack - throw some hot sauce and horseradish in there, mix it up - and drink that shit down while you jam this one out. It’s pure 180% proof southern brutality. Just like pouring some hot sauce in your beer. (Which I don’t recommend, unless you like dry heaving.)

…But for some odd reason, the vocals kind of sound like Dave Brockie from GWAR. (Heard their next album is supposed to be heavy as fuck, so waiting to hear it next month.)

OVERALL: A HEAVY AS FUCK THRASH ALBUM, WITH A LOT OF PROMISE. CHECK THIS ONE OUT. HOT SAUCE, HORSERADISH, AND BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS NOT INCLUDED. (BUT THEY SHOULD BE.)

SCORE: 5 HOT SAUCE AND HORSERADISH MIXES, OUT OF 5



Boris and Ian Astbury - BXI (2010) - This is an odd collaboration with Japanese prog masters Boris, and the front man of legendary goth rockers (Before There Was “Goth”, And So Many Damned Vampires In The Media) The Cult, Ian Astbury. Having only heard one The Cult album that I actually bought, 2001’s “Beyond Good and Evil”, (and I really liked that one) I thought that it was going to be interesting to hear Ian Astbury’s legendary vocals paired up with such a legendary band as Boris. Then came the verdict…

There’s only four real tracks on here, and I’m guessing the live version of “The End” is just a bonus track, (it’s not even the whole damned song) so unless you really, really like The Cult, then don’t grab this one. There is a great cover of Boris favorite “Rain”, where the female singer of Boris takes the reins, and her ethereal vocals blew me away (not to mention the guitar work…amazing) but as for the very occult influenced (as we all know The Cult are no stranger to the occult) songs “Teeth And Claws”, “We Are Witches”, and “Magickal Child”, (No, I did not add that extra Crowleyian “K”. It was there from the start, fully asserting further the occult beliefs of Mr. Astbury.) these songs are hits and misses at best.

The first track “Teeth And Claws” sort of bored me, while “We Are Witches” I found more intriguing, and probably his best work on the album. The fourth track (“Rain” is third) “Magickal Child” is a decent track, there’s some interesting fuzz work going on in it, and as for the bonus track, the quality is crude but listenable, and I feel that it would have been a great closer to this album (or should we say EP?) had it been recorded in a studio at it’s full length.

This just goes to show that even the most avid occult romanticizer (and sometimes, but here lately not often, studier and practitioner) such as myself, still can’t get into these tracks. I just couldn’t find the album interesting enough to be as moving as it should’ve or could’ve been. Even though some of the tracks are heavy, and all of them are trippy - I’ve heard better from standalone efforts from both of these groups.

It’s like an old commercial used to tout… “Where’s The Beef?”

OVERALL: IF YOU’RE A BIG FAN OF THE CULT OR BORIS, AND HAVE EXTRA MONEY, CHECK IT OUT, OR D/LOAD IT. THERE’S ONLY 4 SONGS (AND ONE EXTRA DEPENDING ON WHICH VERSION YOU GET), SO THERE’S NOT MUCH HERE TO GO ON. IT’S ONLY 28 MINS (WITH THE BONUS TRACK!)

SCORE: 2 GOOD EFFORTS, OUT OF 5



Votum - Metafiction (2010) - This is progressive metal / rock in the same vein as Porcupine Tree, Anathema, and Opeth also, but unlike that other album I reviewed,(Time’s Forgotten - Dandelion) this one’s a simply must hear for prog fans. If the opener “Falling Dream” doesn’t hit you, then I really don’t know what to tell you. The amount of emotion in this album is raw, and from the heart - and you just don’t hear that anymore. The vocal work is absolutely tremendous, and I’d like to see if these guys can convey the same feelings as on this recording, in front of a live audience.

There’s actually quite a somber mood on this album, and it almost classifies into Progressive Doom, but that’s alright in my book. The band itself does everything that you’d expect from a progressive band, and quality of the production is “crystal clear”. I have to stress that this album is VERY melodic and some of the members duet each other in some of the chorus lines, but along with the prog, the electronics, the atmospheres, and such an amazing front man as this guy, (Don’t know his name as of this typing) I’d be an idiot not to recommend this to any prog fans who don’t mind a bit of somber beauty. (good doom)

I can already assure you that the solos and guitar work is top notch, but there are mistakes here and there, and some songs aren’t as good as they could be, and some things seem to be drowned out by the vocals.

While still not as good as the latest Anathema “We’re Here, Because We’re Here” (2010) album, I would say that this one is very close to being one of the best of the year (in terms of progressive doom). Check it out and do something good for yourself. Thankfully, in this country (for the time being, at least - before we all become controlled by HAARP) we have the right to listen to good music.

OVERALL: PROG FANS WOULD BE IDIOTS TO PASS THIS ONE UP. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, BUT THERE’S A FEW MISSES IN ADDITION TO THE HITS ON THIS ALBUM.

SCORE: 4 AMAZING VOCAL LINES, OUT OF 5



Woe - Quietly, Undrammatically (2010) - Sporadic, much? The first song was pretty somber and slow death / doom…lame. Heard it before. Then, the next track kicked in, and it’s like I’m hearing a different band. It might as well be black metal now. (fast black metal, actually) Yet, in my genre description I still see the words “death/doom”.

As for their black metal, I found it was pretty straightforward, but there’s a hell of a lot of fire in the vocals. Damn, I guess this is for people that want to hear both death / doom and black metal without having to switch the cd’s or the mp3s.

Hey, don’t get me wrong here - the black metal side of these guys is very solid, and I’ll bet that some people who have read this review are probably myspace-ing or d/load-ing these guys to check them out. It’s worth it. Sometimes they mix the styles together to form like a blackened doom sound with death metal and black metal vocals, and it works.

The sound quality isn’t great, but it’s listenable. I guess it’s one up from demo - but they wanted the raw sound. It certainly helps their cause, and I doubt this would have as much raw force from a high quality production.

Bottom line is, this one’s worth checking out. It’s different. Starts out with doom / death metal, goes into black metal, goes into black metal with dual genre vocals, and great clean vocals - then it stays as blackened doom metal until the end. I’ll also mention that the guitar work is good, fitting the music well. I’d like to see these guys live.

OVERALL: GOOD, IF YOU LIKE BLACK METAL WITH A DOOM EDGE. IF YOU DON’T, THEN IT’S SIMPLE - YOU WON’T LIKE THIS. IT STARTS OUT LIKE DOOM / DEATH, BUT MUTATES INTO SOLID BLACKENED DOOM METAL.

ALSO TRY - EARLY WOODS OF YPRES (DEBUT ALBUM)

SCORE: 4 FROSTY TRANSFORMATIONS OUT OF 5



December Wolves - Completely Dehumanized (1998) - At 30 minutes, don’t expect a whole lot from this “strange” black metal band. There’s some interesting riffs about, and some oddities which make the thing a little more listenable. The opener comes out with a straight bludgeon, but things start to get a tad more “almost electronic and somewhat avant-garde”. The only thing I find disheartening is the addition of “hardcore hollers”. Sometimes the band will have a bunch of guys holler something or other in the background. Why? I don’t know.

Is it good black metal though? Yes. Especially for the time. This was 1998, and even though they had a 1996 album which sounded like what everyone else was doing in 1996, (and some still get by with in 2010) it’s good to see that they got tired early on with the “kvlt stlye” of black metal. Whoever came up with that term needs a swift kick in the balls. Musical evolution is what keeps music fresh, after all.

While still being very thrash influenced, the subtle differences are what make this album unique and worth mentioning. When you dust off old relics like this, (Can you believe it’s over 10 years old?) you’d better have a damned good reason for it. Check this out, if you can find it. Better d/load it, unless you want to pay a fortune. It’s only a 30 minute album, so you’d be badly ripped off.



December Wolves - Blasterpiece Theater (2002) - There’s not much to say here. While the album is blasting brutality from every orifice, the only thing I thought that was interesting was some of the voice clips. Honestly, it’s straight forward black metal with very vague industrial touches. In fact, they’re so vague that you barely even notice. While the 1998 album was something different, this is something bland. Unless you’re just looking for run of the mill heaviness with some interesting voice clips, pass this one and save yourself the 43:00 of life that you can’t get back. I’ve already wasted it.

OVERALL: BLAND, BUT SOLID BLACK METAL WITH FEW INDUSTRIAL TOUCHES, AND INTERESTING VOICE CLIPS. BRUTAL, BUT BLAND.

SCORE: 1.5 / 5 (.5 For the voice clips)

Week 7 (Nov 12, 2010)

Cradle Of Filth - Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa(With Some, But Not Yet All Bonus Tracks) (2010) - Well, here it is. I’ve been waiting, and I knew it was going to be worth it.

Cradle opens with this time, an instrumental which actually goes right into song, instead of just an instrumental and track 2 being a song. This is great, as I always thought it was a waste to put a little 1 minute intro as a separate track. The album focuses on Lilith. She’s absolutely no stranger to me, and I’ve been waiting for this one for a while. (and A Crowley Concept)

Cradle have written a load of music for this album. Even the bonus songs sound like they were literally cast off the album just to make space. (Sans the demos) Regardless, this album is a slab of gothic black metal that follows a different tone for the band. Being back on Peaceville (I didn’t notice at first) and out of Roadrunner’s grimy clutches, they finally made that album everyone wanted; a return to form. What form you ask? Cruelty, Midian, Dusk, Yes. I’m serious. These are the albums that made Cradle great, and It’s great to hear them trying to capture those gothic black metal feelings again. Just as Dani says, this album is bustling with percussion, blasts, blasts, blasts, left and right. The solos in the album are few, but really good when used, and the guitars actually use a riff to riff to riff style as if Dani is telling an awfully long fucking story. His vocals actually shine on this album, with the use of prose, scream, and a growl at times as well.

The only “pop” song on the album is their single “Father Forgive Me (For I Have Sinned)” Which is a decent song, just one that shouldn’t be on this album. It doesn’t fit. There’s no way that you can make it fit. It belongs on 2006’s “Thornography” really. It does however, have a good solo.

All in all, this is Cradle the way they should’ve been. I liked everything up to Godspeed, but finally hearing this one has restored my faith in the band, as it is one of my top favorite metal acts. That statement means that this is coming from a listener that knows Cradle. I used to ride to work to “Lovecraft and Witchhearts” every day (the Lovecraft Disc) on the CD player with the headphones because all their old greats were there. Here, I’m finding the same feeling and it feels like fucking Christmas, people. A really dark, and bleary Christmas…But Christmas nonetheless.

OVERALL: BUY IT. THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST THAT CRADLE HAS SOUNDED IN FUCKING YEARS. A CONTENDER FOR ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

6 FEELINGS BOTH GREAT AND TERRIBLE, OUT OF 5



Azure Emote - Chronicles Of An Aging Mammal (2007) - What started out as solid death metal with some electronic elements, turned into a great fucking mess. A shitstorm, if you will. Now, there’s a right way to be experimental, and a wrong way, and this is the wrong way. The first two songs sound like solid death metal with little tinkering. The next song introduces female vocals. Okay, I can do that, what’s next?

Well, next is where things start getting freaky. There’s so much experimenting going on that the metal coat is just about shed, and even dance beats and rhythms get introduced. I feel like I just ordered fast food and got a meatless sandwich. Where’s the beef? You going to just give me two pieces of bread now? It’s like I’m eating a good sandwich, and then a couple bites in, a guy pulls the damn patty out, and says, “Here, here’s the bread. I’m going to take the patty and throw it in the trash.”

I’m serious. This got so weird that I lost track of it. There’s a few good tracks here and there, and sometimes the experimenting is good, but other than that…I can think of ten million more albums I’d rather hear than this. Maybe I need to be high. Maybe I need to get really fucking stoned, do some LSD, and eat a few shrooms. Then I could probably get into it, I bet.

Either that, or be dead.

You know who sounds like this, but better - even though I don’t really like them?

The Berserker. Yeah, go get one of their albums. Unless you really like experimentation screwing up your death metal. I don’t know. Some people out there might think this is fucking great. I like experimentation, but maybe not this.

OVERALL: SOLID THE EXPERIMENTAL DEATH METAL (WITH ELECTRONICS), THAT LOSES IT’S MIND, BUT RETAINS ITSELF AT THE END. FOR ADVENTUROUS LISTENERS ONLY.

3.5 / 5



Black River - Black N’ Roll (2010) - This is awful hard rock influenced rock that may feature former members of Behemoth and Dimmu Borgir, but was just a bad idea to began with. An awful fucking idea, actually. It sounds like rock music with the lead singer of Sentenced / Poison Black on vocals; except that it’s not him, but some sound alike. He even uses some of that awful Volbeat vocal touch in places. This is one of the worst pieces of shit I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. I thought two tracks were decent, but everything else was a shitstorm. There is no black or death metal influence at all. They could’ve called it “Bore N’ Roll” because that’s all it did for me. I was just waiting for it all to end, and I was so glad when it finally did.

OVERALL: AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE. DO NOT LET THE FACT THAT FORMER MEMBERS OF DIMMU AND BEHEMOTH MADE THIS. IT’S SHIT, AND IT’S ONLY ABOUT 2% METAL.

1 Awful Idea, Out Of 5



Costa Gravos - Sick My Duck (2010) - This avant-garde metal band mixes quite a few things into their hardcore influenced style. Sometimes it sounds over the top heavy, sometimes very light, and at other times just plain weird, like when they throw a country style on the 6th track. People are losing their minds over this band, but I don’t know why. They’re alright, but they’re not anything great. The vocalist takes a Mike Patton style, but he also just hollers random incomprehensible gibberish into the microphone. Some people really like this and call it art, but there’s no real form or focus, and even though it’s mildly funny in parts, there’s few people that could take this band seriously.

OVERALL: ADVANT-GARDE METAL WITH TOO MUCH SILLINESS. DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, AND YOU’LL HAVE MORE FUN WITH IT.

3 / 5



Chrome Hoof - Crush Depth (2010) - This avant-garde band with bits of metal and a few other nifty things is actually worth a listen. The female vocalist may not be the best, but where this band shines is in it’s progressive power and experimental prowess. Some may not get it, but it’s what I’d like to call true art in every sense of the word. The instrumental breaks on this album shine with a majesty that I can’t even humanly describe. I will say that funk and disco mixes in quite well with the mix though.

They honestly don’t even need the vocalist. This would be a better listening experience without her, as I feel her voice brings what could be a phenomenal instrumental act, (and I do mean phenomenal) down completely. Any fan of progressive rock or metal would like this one - even thought I’m sure they would all agree that we don’t really need the female Mike Patton.

OVERALL: GREAT INSTRUMENTAL PROG/AVANT-GARDE ROCK / METAL, BUT HORRIBLE VOCALS. AT LEAST CHECK IT OUT, THOUGH. THIS ISN’T REALLY A METAL ALBUM, BUT IT’S STILL WORTH HEARING.

Chrome Hoof also have a 2007 album. Get it!

4 Well Executed Ideas, Out Of 5 (-1 For The Vocals)



Daath - Daath (2010) - I really liked the first two albums from this band. Namely, “Futility” in 2004 (Which was self-released) and the 2007 breakthrough for the band, “The Hinderers”. The next album “The Concealers” was released upon the departure of their old vocalist and best asset to the band, who was replaced by just some guy. The reason why I say that is because the band held a contest for anyone that could put vocals on their songs and send them back. It could’ve even been myself, yet I had not the technology that I have now, and had it been me, things would’ve gone back to the futility days for sure.

But, it’s not me - and this guy is very basic. He sounds like a Peter from Hypocrisy wannabe, or Bjorn from Soilwork. The core elements are emphasized in this album, and it’s very basic death metal, even though it is actually death metal this time as opposed to deathcore. The band sounds better than the unlistenable “Concealers” album in 2008, but that’s not saying much. In my opinion, they’ll never be better than “The Hinderers”. As far as the music goes, it’s just death metal with a few frills here and there. There’s not enough here to make it stand out from anything else on the market. It’s more a product geared to an audience than art in itself. Some of the solos are good and the outro is an interesting (albeit short) instrumental, but who cares? I most certainly don’t. NEXT!

OVERALL: SOLID DEATH METAL WITH A FEW FRILLS HERE AND THERE. OTHER THAN THAT, IT’S NOT WORTH THE MONEY, UNLESS YOU’RE A FAN OF THIS BORING SHIT.

2 Things I’ve Heard Too Many Time Before, Out of 5



Darth Vegas - Darth Vegas (2003) - I struggled with the idea whether or not to review this album. It’s definitely for fans of Estradasphere, but it has a little bit of vocals, and features much more “cartoon style” music. Yes, there’s some heavy parts in it, and some of the songs are actually pretty interesting. Is it metal? Not quite, but almost. Almost in the sense that you get enough heaviness not to be sure. Does that make any sense to you? Neither does this album, and that’s why you should check it out. Kind of funny, kind of interesting, and kind of thrashy in places, it’s definitely weird.

OVERALL: WEIRD STUFF THAT ISN’T EXACTLY METAL, BUT IS WORTH CHECKING OUT.

4/5 For Originality.



Diocletian - War Of All Against All (2010) - This blackened death metal band does a good job at what they do. There’s no question about that. If you want in your face, blazing metal with solos firing off like a bunch of black cat fireworks that someone threw in a fucking trash can, this is what you’re getting. A little sludgy in areas, but never letting up. Most of the tracks are very short, and it’s all over too soon. But then, you can just hit play again, and jam out once again as well. Definitely good metal to get pumped up with. Ends with a long doomy and sludgy track called “Fortress Of The Unconquerable”, which sounds different from the rest of the album, but is fucking evil as hell, and that’s what I like to hear, ladies and gentlemen. The eviler, the better. I’ll also add that this song goes into atmospherics which might go on for far too long for the rest of the fast as hell metal that accompanies most of this disc. Most people will probably skip the last track.

OVERALL: RAW BUT SOLID BLACKENED DEATH METAL, THAT WILL KICK YOUR ASS ONE WAY, OR THE OTHER. WHEN THEY TITLED THEIR ALBUM “WAR OF ALL AGAINST ALL” THEY MEANT IT. GIVES THE DEATHCORE BANDS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY. WASN’T SURE IF I’D HEAR MUSIC LIKE THIS AGAIN.

4.5 Aural Assaults, Out Of 5



Firewind - Days Of Defiance (2010) - Ever since he joined heavy metal legend John Michael Osbourne, or better known as “Ozzy” Osbourne, and took the place of Zakk Wylde, Gus G. has swept the nation with his powerful guitar theatrics. Of course, I don’t think he was very strong on the newest Ozzy album, and he’s better suited in Firewind.

Song after song on this album is completely dominated by Gus’s riffs and the vocalist’s vocals which sound really great this time around. There’s not any great big solos this time, and the whole thing leans to a more “cut and paste power metal” style, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad album. It’s just not original. They could’ve made this album twenty times over, but perhaps they don’t care, and they just want to make the music that they like. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this is certainly not something they just threw together, regardless if it wasn't a challenge for them to make. It’s a solid effort, and It holds up pretty well against the rest of the discography, sans “Forged In Fire” which is untouchable. If you like Firewind, I can’t see why you wouldn’t like this album. There’s even a 5:00 instrumental called “Skg”, which features shredding by Gus, and some nice keyboard work.

OVERALL: ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE FOR FIREWIND. RECOMMENDED FOR POWER METAL FANS THAT LIKE THEIR POWER METAL JUST THE WAY IT IS. A VERY SOLID EFFORT, AND WORTH A LISTEN IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE. IF NOT…THERE’S NOTHING SPECIAL HERE.

OVERALL: 4/5 (Good, Not Great.)



Helloween - 7 Sinners (2010) - Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been blown away. This has to be Helloween’s strongest slab of metal since the first two “Keeper Of The Seven Keys” albums. Heavy as hell this time, with strong choruses, great vocal work (with even some light growls) and fantastic fucking solos, I’m already about to pen this down as the best Power Metal album of the whole year. Every song is completely replayable, catchy as hell, and much harder than they’ve ever been. I urge everyone to hear this album in it’s entirety. It’s a great Halloween treat, that’s for sure.

OVERALL: BEST POWER METAL OF THE YEAR, GO GET IT - END OF STORY. THIS ALBUM KICKS MORE ASS THAN I’VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME. IT’S THRASHY AS WELL - A DEFINITE HEADBANGER.
5/5 (PERFECT!)



Ill Nino - Dead New World (2010) - Ill Nino has been trying to sound like the Latin Slipknot for years now, and they’ve finally gotten what it means to sound like Latin metal right. Brujeria this is not, but the Latin percussion is very good, and the production is crystal clear. I’ve always thought their lead vocalist had a very good singing voice, but I think that he overuses the catchy choruses on this album, despite it being heavier and more thought through than 2008’s “Enigma” which was a pile of shit that I could barely stomach. What really works for this again, is the Latin percussion. It makes the band sound unique, and as for the Slipknot comparisons, they will still be there, even though deathcore vocals make their way in, and the things a bit more heavier. The first track is the shortest, and catchiest, “God Is Only For The Dead”. It will probably be the video.

Another thing…this has a cover of the Smashing Pumpkin’s “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”. Being a fan of the Pumpkins…I’m going to prefer the original any day.

OVERALL: LATIN SLIPKNOT DOES A GREAT JOB HERE BEING EXACTLY THAT. HEAVY VOCALS AND LIGHT VOCALS MIX WELL, AND THE PROGGY GUITAR TOUCHES AND MELODIC (AND D-TUNED) RIFFS WORK WITH THE LATIN PERCUSSION, WHICH SHINES ON THIS ALBUM. IT’S ACTUALLY WORTH A LISTEN. THERE IS A COUPLE OF BREAKDOWNS, BUT SUCH IS CORE INFLUENCE, I SUPPOSE.

3/5


Island - Enigma Of The Stars EP (2010) - Here’s a band with some promise. While the album clocks in at a mere 24:00, it’s got some interesting content. The music is a bit hard to place, I guess I could say that it sounds like progressive black metal with sludgy growls and pristine clean vocals. The clean vocals really shine on this EP, and if they can do this formula justice on a full album, they’re going to be a definite band to watch. Both heavy and beautiful, this is a great album - even if it feels like a mere sampler.

OVERALL: SHORT, BUT INTERESTING PROG. BLACK METAL WITH SLUGE STYLE VOCALS, AND GREAT CLEAN VOCALS. WORTH A LISTEN.

5/5 (Good Effort.)



Judgement Day - Peacocks and Pink Monsters (2010) - This interesting instrumental group borrows a lot from Apocalyptica. Some of the tracks even sound just like them. But don’t let that shy you away from this release. It’s a plethora of different sounds, and it’s for the most part a heavier record than you might think. Definitely worth a listen.

OVERALL: HEAVY AND INTERESTING INSTRUMENTAL WITH VIOLINS IN SOME SONGS AND GUITARS IN OTHERS. EVERY SONG HAS A DIFFERENT VIBE, AND THAT’S GOOD.

5/5 (It’s A Good Instrumental Album)



Savnock - Theopany (2009) - What we have here is an atmospheric slightly black metal band with mostly melodic riffs and death metal vocals. This is not heavy in any sense of the word, it’s quite beautiful, mostly atmospheric, and very slow. Even though it only consists of two tracks, they are absurdly long and together make up a full length album. It wants to make you believe that these two tracks are solid tracks, but they aren’t. There’s a few breaks in it, and because of the long pauses it feels like many tracks instead, but that’s nothing to bitch about. A bit of classic piano is used here and there, and it’s as I’ve said before, very slow, very soft, very soothing, despite the death metal vocals. Not head banging stuff at all - but still very much metal, and still very much worth checking out if you like atmospheric metal

OVERALL: SOFT, SLOW, AND MELODIC ATMOSPHERIC BLACK METAL WEITH FEW VOCALS, AND ONLY DEATH METAL VOCALS WHEN THEY ARE USED. IT’S MOSTLY ENJOYABLE FOR THE ATMOSPHERES, SO IF YOU DON’T LIKE ATMOSPHERES, YOU SHOULD PASS THIS, BUT AS FOR ME, I GIVE IT A…

5/5 (Great Atmospheric Album)



Sebkha Chott - De la Persistance de la Mythologie Chottienne en Velos (2009) - The first thing I’m going to say about this album is that finally… it’s only 6 tracks even though it also have the numbers 49-54 by each track, which makes me think that the rest of the tracks were probably just silent tracks that went right into track 49, kind of like Korn’s “Follow The Leader” Which started on track 13.

Regardless, this album seems to be interesting, but much less metal than the others. Rap is actually used now, and so is some video game sounding electronics. There’s still metal, but it’s rare here, so I can’t necessarily recommend it. The rap actually goes into electronic if you can believe it. As the metal is present, as I’ve said before, there is far too many other things going on to consider this a “metal album” and to consider Sebkha Chott a metal band. They are about as metal now as Estrasphere, and for those of you who know, that isn’t very metal.

OVERALL: NOT RECOMMENDED FOR METAL FANS, BUT RATHER FOR PEOPLE WHO ENJOY MANY TIMES OF MUSIC IN ONE SITTING. THEY DO JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING HERE, AND IT WORKS - BUT AGAIN, NOT A METAL ALBUM.

5/5 (This does not reflect the few metal portions of the album, but it is a great experimental album nonetheless.)



Star One - Victims Of The Modern Age 2 Disc Ltd. Edition (2010) - Only Arjen Lucassen has the rights to do the same concept album 3 and 4 times. Exactly how many times can you warn us all of our planet’s demise, Arjen?

Regardless, if you’ve liked Arjen’s work in Ayreon, Guilt Machine, Star One, or that other band with the girl in it, you will like this. The first Star One was based upon old space movies, but this entire album (Just like 01011001, and The Final Experiment, and On This Perfect Day…) is full of planetary destruction warnings.

Musically, Arjen’s keyboard antics are great, the band is HEAVIER than most of his releases (as promised in the promo trailers) and the singing goes back and forth between a male and female vocalist (both well known from Ayreon), along with some guests, who provide different vocal styles. (There is a few smidgens of “death metal growls - not deathcore growls” to be found on this album - of course, I could only make one full death metal song with all the growls that he’s used through his career.)

The songs are VERY CATCHY, and in a better world, this could top the billboard 200 easily. It’s radio friendly, but still interesting. My only real complaint about this is, I swear that I’ve heard this all before. This doesn’t top Guilt Machine, nor does it top Ayreon’s 01011001 album in any way. But, if you’re a fan of the man’s work, pick it up. If you’re looking for something new, and altogether interesting, I hate to tell you this, but Arjen really didn’t come through this time.

That is not saying that this isn’t a bad album, just not a great one. Some of you may disagree, but that’s normal. You really just have to listen to it for yourself, and form your own opinion for this one. It shines, but not brightly.

As for the bonus disc, which consists of five tracks:

As The Crow Dies - I can see why this one was scrapped. It’s basic, but it offers some good keyboard work. Still… just listening to it, it doesn’t sound like it belongs with the rest of this album.

Two Plus Two Equals Five - This one however, I feel different about. It’s heavier and features a sort of guest vocalist with a much darker tone, sort of like Peter Steele, or Johan Edlund. The song also has a good message.

Lastday - I rather enjoyed this one, it’s an acoustic track with electronics. Arjen’s on vocals for this one. I’ve always thought the man had great vocals, and wondered why he needed to use other vocalists for his work. Perhaps he just doesn’t like to sing. This song has everything one should expect from a good progressive track, and it should have been on the album.

Closer To The Stars - The vocals are awful here, and they ruin the track.

Knife Edge - A basic track, that gets a little better in the middle, still it’s not the best track on the bonus disc by any means.

Here’s to hoping the next (and most likely, final) Ayreon album will be better.

OVERALL: SOLID PROGRESSIVE METAL, BUT STILL VERY SAFE. NOTHING REALLY FANTASTIC, BUT NOT BAD EITHER. WORTH A LISTEN ANYWAY.

4/5 (Good, Not Great)



The Wretched End - Ominous (2010) - Samoth’s newest project is a blackened deathcore / thrash metal band. It’s pretty decent with some great riffs here and there, brutal drumming at times, but boring as hell vocals. The last three tracks on this album show promise as do the first couple, but the middle lacks any sort of talent besides what deathcore can provide. Highly comparable to Heaven Shall Burn, their new album is just as good as this one is. I expected much more from a legendary guitarist of this nature. Perhaps he’s just getting bored.

OVERALL: BLACKENED DEATHCORE / THRASH FROM SAMOTH, BUT NOTHING AMAZING.

ALSO TRY: HEAVEN SHALL BURN

3/5



The Meads Of Asphodel - The Murder Of Jesus The Jew (2010) - If you don’t know who Meads is, don’t be alarmed. I found out about them just a few years ago, and they’ve blown my mind ever since. They are a black metal band who mixes black humor and many other things into their music, even though it’s all low quality production which a lot of people hate. To this I say, “Fuck them!” as this band is damn near my favorite.

I could probably write a four or five page essay on how great, cruel, and interesting that I think the music of Meads is, but instead I’ll just tell you that this is a band that doesn’t care. They don’t care what they sound like, they don’t care what they put in, and they don’t care if you like it. They released an EP before this called “Life Is Shit” with 3 awful punk covers, and why? Because they could.

The lead vocalist is called “The Metatron” Which is absolutely blasphemic and ironic, because that is the so called voice of God. He gets his kicks on making fun of Christianity and religion in general, and always has done so. The man actually spouted some profound wisdom at the end of their “In The Name Of God, Welcome To Planet Genocide” (2006) album, which I think people should hear, because it is so goddamned true about this planet and this race. I’ll also add that they’ve done the best cover of “What A Wonderful World” that I’ve ever heard in my fucking life.

Just as I’ve mentioned, this album is as diverse as the rest. Plenty of black metal, blackened thrash, and lots of melodies, rhythms, piano pieces, atmospherics, some female vocals here and there, some acoustic stuff with chants, and some stuff I don’t want to tell you about, because I’m afraid I’ll spoil the surprise. The album itself is based upon a concept album that the Metatron had at the start of the band’s career in 2001. (They’ve had several albums all of which are good, except the life is shit ep) Basically, it pokes fun at everything Christianity, and the art and cd cover pretty much illustrate this idea well.

Every song sounds different, so you can’t expect one sound from this band. It’s definitely metal, and when it’s not - it’s still grim. The voice of the Metatron has always made me think of a pile of unpaid bills, a clogged toilet, a pink slip, your lover cheating with another person, or the threat of thinning the herd, or some sort of pending nuclear threat.

This music is pretty much for people who are fed up with things. I quite enjoy it. So check it out, because it’s definitely different despite the fact that Meads still has a very raw sound. They don’t care either, I’ll bet.

OVERALL: GRIM BLACK METAL, WITH GRIM EVERYTHING ELSE. GREAT MELODIES AS USUAL, WITH OTHER INTRIGUING SECTIONS. MIRAI KAWASHIMA (SIGH) HELPED WITH A FEW THINGS ON THIS ALBUM AS WELL. I RECOMMEND IT, BUT WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT IT IS A BIT RAW IN SOME SECTIONS. NOT REALLY RAW THOUGH, JUST NOT AS CRYSTAL CLEAR AS SOME STUFF THESE DAYS.

Score 4.5/5 (Not as Good as “Damascus Steel”, or “In The Name Of God, Welcome To Planet Genocide”)

ALSO TRY: THE MEADS OF ASPHODEL WHOLE BLOODY DISCOGRAPHY!



Torture Division - Evighetens Darar (2010) - As a side project from The Project Hate, who is still looking for a label to distribute their new, just recently finished album - this has appeared. I know not from where it came, but I do know that it is a death metal (no techno stuff) project featured TPH’s Lord K Phillipson, and Grave’s old lead vocalist (He was on Soulless, what more info do you need?)

As for the album, it’s quite a good slab of death metal There’s good melodies, and even though the old singer of Grave must be an older guy now, his vocals still sound great. No female vocals to speak of, so you’ll have to go to TPH for those. Other than that this is really solid death metal, which I honestly don’t know where you can get. So when it does finally appear, it’s worth hearing. For fans of old school death metal, for sure.

I might mention that this thing might be a demo too, it’s only 27:00 long. Regardless, the production value is good for a demo. Maybe this is offered free? I dunno. Check it out, and let me know.

OVERALL: GREAT DEATH METAL DEMO(?), IF YOU CAN FIND IT. IS IT A FREE ALBUM, OR JUST A WORK IN PROGRESS? LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND OUT.

5/5 (Good Death Metal)



Umbrtka - IVO (2010) - This Russian black metal band is certainly different. First of all, it’s all in Russian, so there’s that warning. Secondly, the vocals were mixed too high, so I feel like I can barely hear the band, and the mix of black metal scowls are awful. The Russian language is one that doesn’t work well in black metal. While the band has a lot of bells and whistles to try throughout the album, it sounds kind of boring in places. You ever listened to that album that is kind of interesting, but you can’t really get into it all that much for one reason or another?

This is that album. No, it’s not bad - just a tough album to get into. The band has some promise, and a solid sound, I just can’t really get into it that much. Might have to do with the Russian vocals and the Male operatic vocals they use in places. I feel like a bunch of old bearded men are singing in Russian. Still, they put on a solid musical effort, and I can’t fault them on that. Just wasn’t my thing vocally.

OVERALL: MIGHT BE A CULTURE SHOCK. I LIKE NEW THINGS, BUT BLACK METAL IN RUSSIAN? MAYBE NOT THIS BAND (FOR ME). FOR YOU, IT MIGHT BE DIFFERENT THOUGH. PLENTY OF INTERESTING MUSIC, BUT AWFUL VOCALS.

ONE MORE THING, THIS COMES WITH A COVER. WHO IS IT? THE SONG IS CALLED “Sedesatiny” IN RUSSIAN. IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR, LIKE IT COULD BE A BLACK METAL “POP COVER” OR SOMETHING.

2/5



Velnias - Sovereign Nocturnal (2008) - I talked this band up heavily on my last review set, but there’s not much else to the rest of the tracks on this album. “Sovereign Nocturnal” is a great song, but the rest fall short. Still an interesting Black / Death / Folk / Doom release, but other than that, not as amazing as I thought.

OVERALL: SOLID BLACK / DEATH / FOLK / DOOM METAL, BUT NOT AS GREAT AS I HYPED UP. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

3/5



Vindensang - Terminus (2008) - This atmospheric black metal band impressed me with their cut on that compilation I heard last week. Well, there’s still a lot of good things on this album, but it’s rarely heavy, and mostly not metal as in terms that most people consider. There are definite atmospherics and very few heavy parts. It’s more of a meditation than a metal album, and that works fine for me. But for those of you looking for heavy stuff, you should pass this one.

As for the musicality of this piece, it consists of guitar created atmospheres which blow the mind. The vocals are standard black metal fare, but for most of the album there’s no real music just atmospheres. Sometimes black metal creeps in, but it’s not enough to notice. This is a great atmospheric album, but not a great metal album.

OVERALL: GREAT ATMOSPHERIC BLACK METAL, RECOMMEND FOR FANS OF THIS GENRE. NO ONE ELSE BUT THEM WILL LIKE IT, THOUGH.

5/5 (This score does not reflect album as a full metal release, but rather as a great atmospheric album.)



Virgin Steele - The Black Light Bacchanalia (2010) - There’s one thing I have to say about this album…OW! Trust me. You’ll get tired of hearing it too. The vocalist screams “OW!” as many chances as he can get on this album, and you could even play some sort of drinking game with it - drink every time he says “OW!” on the album.

Musically, this is great progressive power metal with good use of piano. Vocally, this has hits and misses, and misses so bad that you’ll shit yourself laughing. Power metal has always been known for the high pitched vocals of hair metal, and on this album I must warn you that there are vocals on this record 100% completely devoid of testosterone. Some songs on this album, could kill it so badly, that it could be this year’s “so bad it’s good” album.

The playing is really good in parts, and at times the vocals are alright. The closer is definitely worth skipping. What a sad and emo love song. God! If someone decides to mix the high pitched power metal vocals and the whine of emo together, the entire world will end in the next week.

The mixing on this album is horrible. Whose idea was it to make the goddamn vocals so much louder than anything else? If some of the vocals were mixed down, this thing might have sounded better, like on “The Orpheus Taboo”. I’ll also add that this is a rather long album with most songs being over the six minute mark, and even one of them being 11: 16 seconds, which goes into the album’s title track. If Helloween is the best this year, then Virgin Steele is by far the worst.

It’s bearable, but not by much.

There was a bonus disc included, so I will tell you about the three tracks included:

1. When I’m Silent (The Wind Of Voices) - It’s just a ballad, and I don’t like it. How many ballads have I heard that sounded this way? About a hundred thousand. Hair Metal’s back? Who knew? Guitar solo is good though.

2. Silent Sorrow - Just another ballad. Basic but decent.

3.From A Whisper To A Scream (The Spoken Biography) - This is interesting. It’s a 30:41 lecture about the band, how it came together, all of the plays they’ve produced, and their pro-pagan message. Which I didn’t even know about. This guy puts the hammer down, like I used to, back when I was a teenager. Some of you might remember my long rants. Regardless, it’s made me curious to get the rest of their albums. (sans the one I own, House of Atreus Act I) In more of a metal standpoint, these guys really played with a lot of the greats of metal, and I never knew it. Did you also know that they produced the first Metal opera?

OVERALL: THE BEST WORST ALBUM OF THE YEAR. ACCORDING TO THEIR HISTORY, THEY’VE MADE BETTER ALBUMS THAN THIS.

Score 3/5 (Good music, awful vocals for the most part.)



Void Of Silence - The Grave Of Civilization (2010) - Void of silence has always been known for their dreary funeral doom metal. Sometimes atmospheric, but always the most soul crushing stuff you’ve ever heard, I’m surprised that people haven’t offed themselves to this band’s music. Replacing Nemtheanga on vocals, is the frontman for Axis Of Perdition, who could best be described as a band that creates nightmare inducing atmospheric music that I wouldn’t recommend listening to in a dark room.

His vocals were few in AOP, and they were many here - and the man really hasn’t much of a singing voice. Yes, it’s dreary, but it starts to get awfully boring, awfully fast. It just got so damned dreary I felt it was a chore to listen to this release, despite it’s good parts, which consist of good guitar work, and some added instruments in places (like the African flute used on the beginning of “Empty Echo” for example)

While I really liked Void Of Silence’s last album, I didn’t think I was going to like this one, and I didn’t. But if you’re really looking for some depressing and dreary music with some interesting things here and there, pick it up. Definitely not the best doom I’ve heard this year, but the most depressing by far.

OVERALL: EXTREMELY DEPRESSING, BUT SOMETIMES INTERESTING DOOM. THE VOCALS ARE REALLY WEAK, THOUGH.

1/5 (Just wanted it to end.)



Withered - Dualitas (2010) - Withered is a sludge / death metal band, and they kill. Those of you who got to see these guys on Blackest Of The Black, I envy you. They shine with death metal brutality, progressive power, the thunder of sludge, and an all around melodic splendor that just works well, not to mention a little drone and atmospherics that also work well for them. Not only can they capture the energy of Neurosis, but they can mix it with death metal in a way that it just fucking works.

One of the most original and kick-ass bands I’ve heard in a while, I’d have to recommend this as a must to fans of sludge and death metal, because it does well in both levels, and it doesn’t get boring, which is what I thought would happen, but instead I’m awed. It’s only 37 minutes of music (with one interlude and one outro which make it 42:00) but it can be listened to many times, including the bad ass tracks “Residue In The Void” and “From Shadows.”

Do yourself a favor and listen to this one. I could listen to it a few more times, definitely.

OVERALL: MORE THAN JUST SOLID DEATH/SLUDGE WITH GREAT MELODIES. I DON’T KNOW HOW IT WORKS TOGETHER LIKE THAT, BUT IT DOES. I’M DEFINITELY DIGGING THIS SHIT, AND I THINK THAT YOU WILL TOO. WORTH A LISTEN.

5/5 (Great Album)





The Megas - Get Equipped (2009) and Sparked A War EP (2010) - It’s not quite metal, but it’s heavy at times. Regardless, this is a rather interesting project from I think, a bunch of Christian guys that really dig the Megaman games. I’d have to say Christian, because there’s an awful lot of Christian morality in some of the lyrics, which are the only downfall, and not because of the Christian element, but because they sound like they were written by children.

What this band is, is an American rock band that went and covered all of the original Megaman 2 (NES) themes, and put their spin upon them. Since the lyrics are literally 100% based on each robot master’s personality (which can be rather comical at times).

These guys definitely known how to rock, even though one of the vocalists is slightly whiny. There are a few interesting solos, but what works well here is the transformation of these from 8 - bit midi to full blown rock. It’s very catchy, and if it was marketed right, would be in Wal-Mart, because of that capitalist sense of catchiness.

But, it is in all sense, original. I believe these guys are religious, being some of the lyrical themes, but I’m not sure. Hell, they could be atheists, but anyway - the music is worth listening to. Maybe not metal, but definitely different. A bunch of young guys with a lot of promise. Believe it or not, they even re-recorded all of the tracks (and the bonus “The Message From Dr. Light”, which is the best track on the album) for an acoustic album (with a choir and an orchestra) they did in 2010 called, “Get Acoustic” . The music translates well to acoustic as well.

As for the “Sparked A War EP” , with a preview for the upcoming Megaman 3 album, (They Skipped 1, apparently.) it’s actually a little promising. Still very rock, still very catchy - but for god sakes; the fucking lyrics are a little better. Plus, the fact that they tackled one of the harder stage themes “Spark Man”, and turned the riffs into something interesting is feat in of itself. It also includes a cover of the Megaman TV show theme, which as god awful, and a cover of “I Wear My Sunglasses At Night”, in which the solo is done justice. Closing the album is an instrumental version of “Sparked A War” called “Lights Out” , and there’s also another version of the single, except it’s an acoustic version (of course). There’s apparently also a video on you-tube, but I haven’t seen it yet.

Video Game Rock/Metal isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and some of the lyrics are beyond comical, but what these guys are doing is original…and that’s a good thing. I’ll also add that this is more kid friendly than anything. I would jam to it daily if I was about 10 or so, but I’m not, even though there’s a few good tracks here to listen to. Not better than what Game Over (SWE) did.

Score 4/5

ALSO TRY: GAME OVER (SWE) - NINTENDO METAL, NESPERADO (“Wire” absolutely slays on guitar, one of the best female guitarists I have ever heard)

(http://www.nintendometal.com/)

DISCOGRAPHY REVIEW (NO OVERALL, JUST A SCORE)

Carnival In Coal and Pin-Up Went Down



First some information about this band. Carnival In Coal is an extremely avant-garde French band, that mixes death metal with a few other unexpected things. After their demise in 2005, Pin-Up Went Down was formed and has released two albums. One in 2008, and one this year. This is metal the way you’ve never heard it, and it’s got it’s hits and misses.

CARNIVAL IN COAL (1997 - 2005)



Vivalavida (1997) - This debut album features solid death metal, and some (but very few) black metal elements, but I feel that the experimentation into pop was a bit much. These guys have horrible clean vocals and it sounds like trash when there’s no metal going. I like experimentation, but this and the demo which is included, just aren’t very good albums.

2/5



French Cancan (1999) - This album I rather enjoyed. From the electronic death metal cover of Ozzy’s “Bark At The Moon” (Which is actually really good), to the cover of “Maniac” With clean vocals and blasts all over the place (Yes, “She’s a maniac on the floor - that one.) There’s also some other good covers, which just come out really well when done in this electronic death metal. The keyboard work is fantastic, and there’s some rather good riffs here and there. Pantera fans may be upset to hear one of that band’s heaviest hitters “Fucking Hostile”, turned into a melancholy lounge song with some Latin elements and disco. though. Still, I recommend this to fans of electronics and death metal.

4/5



Fear Not (2001) - There’s quite a lot I can say about this album. First, I want to mention that the musicality of the work is superb. Even though it can be humorous at times, talent lurks behind the surface of what would appear to be joke songs. The vocals could use a little work, but some accents do not do death metal vocals or clean vocals justice. Some of these clean vocals are decent, but some of them are bad, and I blame the accent - so you can’t knock them for that.

While there are some intentionally funny bits like the KMFDM wannabe “Gang Bang” and the long growl song “Daaahhh”, one cannot simply dismiss such interesting tracks such as “Yes, We Have No Bananas” , “Ring My Bell”, “Exit Upon Void”, and the closer “Fear/Fear Not” which are as metal of tracks as on any other album I’ve heard.

By showcasing good melodies and some interesting electronics, in addition to death metal drumming which is as brutal as any other death metal drumming that I’ve heard, this band truly has something special and unique under their sometimes comedic persona. I have no idea of the lyrics, and I really don’t care. The music here is worth listening to at least.

4/5



Collection Prestige (2005) - Well, it’s swansong time, again…at least for Carnival in Coal. This album is actually quite good, and for the fact that it makes fun of many metal styles, including black metal “Satanic Disaster” which goes out in the form of a low production black metal recording, and “Right Click…Have As…” Which is a Slipknot sound-alike, with lyrics making fun of the sound of Slipknot. In the middle of it, there is a fake promo message from the band which tells you this song is free, don’t drink and drive and resist the urge if she’s too young”.

Then there’s “Cartilage Holocaust” which is a great disco track, actually - with death metal lyrics. Who says disco’s dead? “The Lady and The Dormant Sponge” is trying to make fun of another metal style (power metal?), but I can’t exactly tell what kind it is, but song sounds pretty decent actually, except that the solo is overblown to hell. “Delivery Day is a basic song that makes fun of electronic death metal, and “Chala” makes fun of the Brazilian death metal that Sepultura pioneered.

The last couple songs take the familiar approach. Just making interesting music, with lyrics which may or may not be serious. “Living In The Plastic Age” and “DOA (Drunk Once Again) certainly sound different for the band, sometimes almost legitimate. DOA has probably the best clean vocals I’ve heard from the band, and the whole song contains a great melody, which I knew they were capable of but, I didn’t think I’d ever hear it. Could this be sign of things to come? I hope so.

The closer, “Promenade” is just a little instrumental in which it sounds like a violin and a piano are trying to coexist and perform a good musical piece, but get in a fight with each other at times, and then get reprimanded into playing their correct notes.

Overall, it’s a great album which you need to check out.

Score 4.5/5

PIN -UP WENT DOWN (2008 - NOW) (FORMED FROM THE REMAINS OF CARNIVAL IN COAL)





2Unlimited (2008) - It is what it is…either an interesting idea, or a blasphemy in the face of the metal gods. This is what you get when you mix lacuna coil, evanescence, cannibal corpse, and electronics together.

Yes, they got a female vocalist, and her vocals are very POP. Except the fact that they like to throw full blown death metal in whenever they feel like. For instance “Cadavre Exquis” which starts like French pop, and does that for a minute or so, and then goes into sludgy death metal for the rest of the track. Some of these songs are great, but some of them are pop as hell. It will take a very adventurous listener to enjoy this album. Even though it has it’s gems, in particular “Esthete Piggie”, which sounds like a “death-ier” version of Rammstein.

Score 3/5



342 (2010) - On this new album, it seems that they added the Swedish death metal elements (more screechy vocals in addition to the growls) of course, it’s much more female fronted this time, meaning they are slowly but surely shedding the death metal that started out in Carnival in Coal. I’ll be brutally honest…“Wolves” from Deadlock kills this. Yeah, there’s some weird stuff going on, but not nearly as strong as the last album nor anything from Carnival in Coal.

To tell you the truth here, the death metal that’s here is so scarce, that the growls on “Vaginaal Nathrakh” have been replaced by light grunts. That’s not death metal, it’s crap. “Murphy In The Sky With Daemons” has a return to the growl and the scream, but it’s like making a light album slightly heavy, and even the heavy songs on this album don’t feel avant-garde or interesting, they just seem like pop with death metal in it. Also, there’s some really weird vocals in this release which aren’t going to appeal to American audiences. Yeah, she can sing - but this came out of Carnival In Coal?

I’d sooner take a bullet in my arm, than have to listen to this crap. A two is too nice for this “heavy pop” album.

Score 1/5